Terror Firmer (1999)

Reviewed by The Creep

Drinking : Espolón tequila, Mexican dirt weed.

Terror Firmer is Troma’s artistic introspective self parody film. Shits like a Troma film on steroids.

A serial killer is stalking the set of an independent movie, slaying various members of cast and crew. In the first 2 minutes we see a man getting his legs pulled off and is beaten to death with them, a pregnant woman is “de-fetused”, and a man is smothered with “toxie bites” breakfast cereal.  Later in the film we see a frat boy stabbed to death with a smashed bong to a soundtrack of Blood for Blood. These are the classier death scenes of the film. My personal favorite is a big fat slob (Troma’s own Joel Fleishaker)  getting eaten by an escalator.

*meanwhile*

Jennifer is a production assistant on the movie set, in a lovers dilemma between Casey and Jerry. Casey (the guy that plays tromeo) is a gentlemanly sound guy that competes with Jerry for Jennifer’s affection. Casey is a fan of big budget Hollywood superstar movies, Spielberg is his favorite director. Jerry (the guy that plays the leader of the diaper mafia, in toxic avenger 4)  is the special effects guy, die hard Troma fan.  Polar opposite of Casey.

Jam packed with brutal death scenes, nudity, sex, gross out gags, various parody scenes, and a  hermaphrodite serial killer, this is the troma film to end all. Terror Firmer looks like they recruited cast members out of warped tour ’99. The soundtrack sounds like punk-o-rama 3 is playing in the background. My kinda movie. Featuring a live performance by the lunachicks. Lemmy from motorhead plays himself as a reporter, and also narrates a psa about hermaphrodites, starring trey parker and matt stone. Hell, even Ron Jeremy makes an appearance.  Fuck me, I love this flick.

Terror Firmer is far too funny to be scary, but still dripping with gore. If you’re a fan of the genre or Troma in general, this is a definate must see.

 

Gore: 5 out of 5

Gross: 5 out of 5

“Seinfeld ” parody: 5 out of 5

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